I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
He shit in the fireplace
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
