Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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