He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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