Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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