looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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