i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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