I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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