none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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