He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
