Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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