This is not my ceiling
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
