I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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