I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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