Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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