She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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