he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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