yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Fuck appropriateness.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
