That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
You pole danced in your parka.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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