i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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