i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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