You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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