Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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