Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
well you can't waste a boner
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
