he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
