do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
