Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
