That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
