giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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