so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
that may or may not have been my penis.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
