well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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