your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Randomize
