I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
