My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i think i have two assholes
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I lost the right to judge tonight
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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