GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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