I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
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