worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
