Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize