guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
