hell yes lets make some ravioli
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
