So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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