What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
