So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Randomize
