Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
