"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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