Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
i think i just lost a toe
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
