last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
