Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Help. Why am I so naked?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
