Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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