and she was petting her beer can
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
My dick has a subreddit
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
