No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
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